the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
