What did we do last night that was yellow?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
