You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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