This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
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