You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
