Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
ugly people sure do ruin things
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
