Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
