Can i not drive my cunt home
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
