i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
