spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
