grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
