can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
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