I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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