the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
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