i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
Randomize
