Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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