Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Your cock deserves a montage
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize