Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
