She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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