I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize