I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
This baby is an asshole
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize
