I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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