Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
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