You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
