Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
last night I used snow as a chaser
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
