so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
