tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
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