found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
