omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
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