it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
