I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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