so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
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