Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
