the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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