I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
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