They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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