You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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