New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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