i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize
