Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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