I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
Randomize
