that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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