Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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