Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize