drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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