I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
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