Moan for me like Helen Keller
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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