i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
