It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
