I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
