How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Randomize
