Cold hands, warm shart.
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Randomize