Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I think my vagina is haunted
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
