Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
