I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
