i can't believe i had my finger in that
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
