It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Well I just put wine in my tea
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize