Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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