you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Randomize