I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Randomize
