Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
