my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
then he tried to convert me to islam
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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