He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
